Heated Chakra Alignment Cleanse

I’ve been feeling like my chakras are out of wack lately, so what better time to share with ya’ll my cleansing-hot-realignment recipe. Many cultures have a tradition of utilizing heat such as sweat lodges or hot baths to have spiritual experience or build community. My long and storied culture is absolutely no different.

This is an all-natural edible recipe, so we will need to gather just a few ingredients, as well as a heat source such as an oven.

The first mystical step involves sifting 2 ¼ cups flour, 1 tsp baking soda, and 1 tsp salt into a bowl. This integral step rejuvenates and adds energy to the ingredients on a molecular level. If you skip this step, this realignment recipe will backfire and make you feel very heavy, clumpy, and dry your skin out.

Using another bowl, the second spiritually allegorical step uses two unfertilized fetuses of an animal, preferably a free-range chicken. The mindset this animal was raised in can have a huge effect on the outcome of this hot cleanse. Next, take ¾ cup of white sugar and ¾ cup brown sugar and add it to the egg mixture. This symbolizes the Ying and Yang that pulls to and fro on our daily lives. Also add 1 tsp vanilla extract to calm the senses and make your home inviting to the Land Wights, so that they continue to protect and promote a flourishing environment. Beat these ingredients together like they owe you money, releasing your anger out to the cosmos so it can be  replaced with love and contentment.

In our final steps, add the dry mixture into the wet mixture. While you do this, ponder on the symbolic nature of our existence. If you have any big nuts available, take them and dice them into perfect bite sized smithereens, like you would the nuts of your enemies. Carefully mix these pieces and two cups of chocolate chips into the bowl.

Pre-heat the heating device to 375 degrees and bake for approximately ten minutes. This recipe has been handed down, generation to generation from Nestle Toll House. I guarantee this heated-cleansing-realignment recipe will leave you with your chakras all in a row, and are also excellent for sharing to promote a happy heart-emoji filled community.

Forever yours, “Kinda dumb hippy girl.”



Picture by   https://unsplash.com/@jonflobrant





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